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I would like to take a moment to talk about a writer's constant companion: The Muse. Every writer has a muse, they have one form or another. Each are unique to different people. They're the tiny voice in our head that transforms the inspiration we receive into an idea. They're the critic in the background telling us how much is wrong with our current manuscript. Even though we've already re-written that bastard about seventeen times. They're the only employee we have that will work when they want to, constantly argue about which story to write first, and will frequently walk off the job when we really need them the most. In short, a Muse is like a really creative and talented person. Who's also an Asshole. My Muse, takes the form of some kind of Meerkat/Mutated Rabbit. I don't know, he came to me when I was 14, and he hasn't left me alone since. His name is Buddy. And he has an attitude problem. He has a faux-hawk (Cause he's too much of a pussy to get a real one.), likes to hide razor blades in his fur, and has super strength. He also claims to have taken Marilyn Munroe's virginity. He's 2 ft tall, black and brown with red streaks down his back, you know, cause he wants to look edgy. Maybe I'll draw him one of these days so you guys can see what I've been dealing with. This is a typical work day for us..... "I need you to start working over time, it's NaNo month." "No." "Fine! Then I'll find someone else!" "Oh really? You're gonna find someone who'll put up with your shitty writing, overuse of verbs, and bad characterization? BY THE WAY GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND SOME THIRD-WORLD ILLITERATE RETARD WILLING TO READ THAT BOWEL-SYNDROME YOU CALL A MANUSCRIPT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!" *cries* So, my fellow writers, what are your Muses like? Tags: buddy, insanity of writers
Current Mood:  cheerful
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While browsing through my email, which I haven't checked in weeks, I came upon one from a friend with the title "LOL DUDE I WOULD TOTALLY USE THIS IF I WERE GAY". Naturally, I went straight for the delete button, but then I decided: what the hell? It's Monday and I'm feeling dirty. I open the email and Behold Ye My Eyes Hath Lunged Forward Twenty Inches. Just looking at it made my "little lady" recede into my uterus. She still hasn't said anything to me, I think we're on a break. The sheer insanity of this device reminds me of a certain platinum-blonde who Wants Your Bad Romance. It's name is genius. Simple, to the point, and fun to say in a crowded room for maximum awkward effect. Ladies and Gentlemen, the one, the only..... Count CockulaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I mean I would buy this just to be able to say THAT I HAVE IT. Also, having recently finished reading the first Twilight novel I think I can safely say that this entire book series probably has so much material to make fun of that I can't wait to read the next three novels. "Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal." EDWARD IS FIERCE. YOU ROCK THEM SPARKLES GUUUUUUUUURL.  Tags: ha ha wtf ha, things i can't believe exist, twilight
Current Mood:  giggly
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Okay so, I've been without my own computer for about a few weeks, which is why I haven't been able to put up more chapter recaps. I was able to use my friends computer's for other posts, but all of my host files were on mine and it made no sense to re-upload and re-download things when I could just wait for it to come back from the shop. The reason it was in the shop is because I caught a virus that surprisingly isn't porn-related. I know. It shocked my friends too. "Dude, are you sure it wasn't because you downloaded Voluptuous Vixens Numb-.." "FOR THE 50th TIME, I'M SURE." "Okay." "......" "....." "....Dude, are you sure?" I'm reading and typing up the next three chapters now, so I should be done soon. With pics included. Tags: jack has been very very naughty
Current Mood: cheerful
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In the spirit of Halloween, I pose this question to all. What do you want as the epitaph on your Gravestone? Or for those of you who plan on being cremated, is there anything you want engraved on whatever you're going to be poured inside? "Herein lies our dearest Jack Who said, "Don't worry, I'll be right back." It was not long, til she returned And with her, brought a bag she downturned Onto the table, came a bottle of white powder And popped open the cap, as the cheers grew louder Line after line, she assembled with paper As people took turns, seeing who could last longer Jack became cocky, and gave a lengthy inhale 5 days later, she was buried next to Aunt Gail." Tags: halloween stuff, the fun side of death
Current Mood: chipper
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